Thinking about time.

My studio at Pyynikin Trikoo 2014 / oil on canvas

Today I met Nicola, who organize the whole We Are Resident – residence and I got to know a lot of interesting stuff of upcoming residency and co-operation. (I will write other full text about it, I think).

After our official meeting we walked by that gallery, where I am supposed to start working at the end of the summer. I told her about my future work commitment and working time. She thought that 25h/week working time is lot, and said something like that sometimes artist have to make compromises and be flexible. It is funny. I have been thinking that my future work will be liberating to me. It will be possibility for time for myself and working on my own field in a way that I even get some payment with people who are interested with similar things with me.

Corridor to my studio at Pyynikin Trikoo 2014
/oil on canvas

On the other hand my friend, who is a nurse, was impressed how much I will have free time in my work.

One favorite text of mine comes to my mind. It is written by an anonymous artist in one zine called “Tarinoita eksymisestä” in page 7. In English I could be something like this:

“Living with art is horrible love, heavy, but still only thing, that concern everything. If I would do anything else, I wouldn't have time to think, notice, experience and feel enough. Even now I have to hurry at times.”

About one year ago I rented a studio at Pyynikin Trikoo, one concentration of artistic ateljes in Tampere. My Studio was cute an it was lovely to go there. I could detach myself from home weekly for about three hours, and sometimes even that was difficult. During one year I could paint two paintings. After one year I gave up the studio.

Starting work, the fact that my younger sons is starting in daycare and upcoming residence feels to me as a giant jump in my independence, even if it is not exactly the artist life that I have lived before and dreamed of. For the moment my dreams are smaller, like I wish to have a key to my writing desk locker in home so that I could have some things of my own safe from little sticky fingers.

Beginning

 

I am visual artist from Finland. My favourite areas are painting, drawing, graphic art and photo. I am going to participate in We Are Resident - residence in Salford, Greater-Manchester in October - November 2016 with my family.  My partner is graphic designer and he is from France. We have two sons  4 years and 2 years old. We live in Finland.

I got idea to make my research about my crisis of being mother and wife and my big need of being artist. As I have understood We are resident participants are all families and I think my point of view would bring one piece of puzzle to the project.

I would try during the residency find some answers but I am not sure if I will.

I see some artist can take their family as a part of their art or otherwise continue their work like it was before they got children. In my case I have not succeeded and for the moment I have no tools to make it happen.

I hope to as well as create some art and research during this process and residency also to make my future work and family life easier and more enjoyable.

In my everyday life I have gigantic difficulties to find any time for my own projects. Even answering e-mails seems too much to ask most of the time. Before I got children I worked as an art teacher and I felt it answer to my artistic needs. Now I am at home but I feel much more limited to express myself even there is in theory more free time. I don't know if the situation will change when my younger son will start in daycare. I feel also that my unsuccessful need of being artist affects in my being mother also.

I think I would realise my project by keeping some kind of diary  I could also make some co-operation with other families in the project and interview other artist in same situation about how they solve the problem. I would make this diary side by side with my other art project. I would not know yet, what my other art project would be. Maybe something about Greater-Manchester. And I am not sure which media I would like to use. Lately I have done mostly graphic art but I am open to other materials also. Also I am not sure if the diary will be the main work of art or the other.